Top Five – A Top 5 Replay

Well, when the Outfield Nation goes silent on just about everything (including the last couple of Top 5 entries) it can only mean one of two things: 1) No one is reading this, but that is not the case according to the oral feedback that I have received from most of you and from the numbers that I see on the blog's statistics, OR 2) We are boring the heck out of you.

Since that appears to be the case, I am going to lob a softball up to you all right now. As many of you know, the infamous Top 5 list that we run with here at The Outfield has its roots in two places. The first is the excellent John Cusack flick High Fidelity where Cusack is constantly dropping his "Top 5" everything and even going so far as to name his record label "Top 5". But predating High Fidelity was a little sitcom that some of you just might have caught during its oh so short run on NBC's Thursday night lineup - "Friends". During the third season as the show really hit its stride, we were blessed with an episode where the gang all consider what five celebrities would be on their "freebie list"--people they can sleep with without anyone getting upset. Ross finally narrows his list down by eliminating Isabella Rossellini... then he bumps into her.

The dialogue from that episode is classic:

Chandler: Well, we have a deal where we each get to pick five different celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one can't get mad.
Ross: Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship: Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.
Monica: So, Chandler... who's on your list?
Chandler: Uh, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and, ah, Jessica Rabbit.
Rachel: Now, you do realize that she's a cartoon... and way out of your league?
Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.

Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess... Chris O'Donnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson.
Ross: Spiderman?
Rachel: Hardy Boy.
Chandler: Peter Parker.
Ross: Thank you.

Ross: And... Isabella Rossillini.
Chandler: Oho! Very hot, very sexy. But, uh, ya know, she's too international, ya know. She's never gonna be around.
Rachel: So?
Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds: Pick somebody who's gonna be in the country, like, all the time.
Rachel: Yeah, 'cause that's why you won't get Isabella Rossillini--geography.

Ross: Okay, I'm done with my choices. These are final.
Rachel: Well, it's about time.
Joey: Oo, very official.
Ross: Oh, yeah, well, ya know, Chandler printed it up on his computer.
Monica: And who laminated it?
Ross: That was me.
Rachel: Alright, let me see. Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurely, Michelle Pfieffer, and... Dorothy Hammill?
Ross: Hey, it's my list.
Rachel: Okay, honey, you do realize she only spins like that on ice.

Isabella: You know, it's ironic.
Ross: What?
Isabella: Because I have a list of five goofy coffee house guys and yesterday I just bumped you for that guy over there.

If I recall correctly, our very first "Top 5" email chain that went around our college circle was this very subject and we have revisited the topic once or twice in the last decade. So, in an effort to stir up some chatter around here, let's reintroduce the Top 5 list. Lots have changed in the last decade: stars have come and gone, people (including us) have aged both gracefully and not so gracefully, and tastes have changed. If I can recall my first Top 5 list correctly, it went something like this: Elizabeth Shue, Elizabeth Hurley, Heidi Klum, Alyssa Milano, and Charlize Theron. I wonder how many will still make the cut?

Joker's Top 5 (in no particular order)

5) Alyssa Milano - C'mon, she was killer during her guest spot on "My Name is Earl" last season and she has her own line of MLB apparel for women. Just look at her in that Cubs hat!

4) Shakira – It's simple – Hips Don't Lie. She would break me and I would like it. Lots. And even E thinks she's hot. That's a winner!

3) Scarlet Johansson – I am rocking the cradle of love her, but she is the whole package. Except for the new album. Tom Waits writes good material, but I don't think she pulls it off. And will someone please get her away from Woody Allen movies!!!

2) Eva Mendes – She has horrible choices in movie roles (Hitch excepted) but I still love her.

1) Charlize Theron – She made the list a decade ago and she still looks almost as young now as she did then. No explanation needed.

To close things out, let me offer up the closing scene from that great episode of "Friends". I dare you tell me that, if you could even work up the nerve to talk to someone on your Top 5 list, that it wouldn't go just as bad as this. Heck, maybe even worse. Isabella didn't have a bodyguard to worry about.

Now let's hear what you have to say. Please post your own Top 5 list in the comments section. And remember to leave your name if so inclined.