Why is this Man Smiling???

Good lord, man - wipe that stupid ass grin off of your face! Never have I seen a celebrity or athlete look so ridiculously happy in a booking photo. You would think that Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson would look pissed or ashamed, but I guess remorse is not in his vocabulary. Other words not in his vocabulary - sobriety, intelligence, honor, toughness, heart. Best known for his inability to stay on his feet while being arm tackled, I think it is safe to say that Benson's days as a Chicago Bear are over following last night's arrest for drunken driving in Austin, Texas.

We here at the Outfield are ardent Bears supporters (along with Slick's Tennessee Titans), but c'mon - Benson has got to go. Bears GM Jerry Angelo clearly swung for the fences and whiffed BIG TIME when he drafted Benson in the Top 5 a couple of years ago. The successor to Ricky Williams at Texas, Benson was a heck of a tailback during his college career. But, like Williams, the kid just never grew up. Is adulthood that big of a phobia for Longhorn players? Is being a man a chore, because I think it's pretty damn easy especially when you get to play football and make millions for a living. Perhaps Benson would enjoy riding on the back of a garbage truck 50 hours a week or waiting tables for $2.12 an hour plus tips, because that's where his career path is heading.

So wipe that stupid ass grin off of your face son. Grow up. Or least go back to Austin and stop sullying my Bears news on a weekly basis. We've got enough trouble out of the players who actually succeed on the field (thanks Urlacher and Briggs).

UPDATE: The fine folks over at Tirico Suave had this little gem that I thought I would share. If you enjoyed this, make sure you click through to their site for a couple of more laughs.

It's Always the Quiet Ones

I swear, this has been a bonkers day. BONK-AIRS. First, it's Dwayne Wade having to deny that his doing to super nasty with Star Jones (ewwww, that's super nasty). Then this news about Marvin Harrision, Indianapolis Colts star wide receiver and, by all media reports, an all around swell dude. Now, he's a wanted man. From ESPN.com:

"The source said the alleged victim came into the bar, Playmakers, about 5 p.m. and engaged in an argument with Harrison, who was at the bar. The victim then left the bar, heading to his car, with Harrison following. Gunfire broke out, the victim was hit in the hand, and a young girl was slightly injured by flying glass from a car that apparently was hit by a bullet.

Police came to scene, but the victim did not identify a shooter. On Wednesday, according to the source, ballistic tests showed that the gun that had fired the shots was a custom-made Belgian weapon, and police determined that Harrison owned such a gun. A source told ESPN.com's John Clayton that the gun is registered.

Police then went to a Philadelphia car wash owned by Harrison to question him about the gun. Harrison admitted owning such a weapon, but claimed it never left his suburban Philadelphia home.

However, the source said the gun was discovered in a bucket at the car wash, and tests showed that it had fired seven bullets that matched those found at the scene.

The source said police were contacted Friday by an attorney representing a second alleged victim in the shooting, and police are now waiting for that individual to come forward."

So, for the record: Shot a brother, used a rare gun that practically no one else in the city would own and that is registered to him, fled the scene, lied to police when questioned, and finally, stupid enough to not get rid of the gun. Woowee, move over Pac Man Jones and Chris Henry!