Top Five Time!

Okay, kids...you knew it was coming eventually. Time to bring back the Top Five tradition. You know the drill: we pose a question, give our own list, and (hopefully) get your replies, in this case in the comments section.

I'll admit, I'm getting a head-start on this particular topic, because the question sprung from a conversation I had this weekend, and I've already been thinking about the list. The question is:

Name five "stalker" songs, and you can't use The Police's "Every Breath You Take."

Here are mine:

5. Snow Patrol, "Spitting Games" From Final Straw, the band's third album and major-label debut. Singer Gary Lightbody inhabits the character of a lovestruck schoolboy to utter the opening lines:

I broke into your house last night
And left a note at your bedside
I'm far too shy to speak to you at school
You leave me numb and I'm not sure why

On the one hand, I'm willing to give the song a pass, as the character is clearly immature...but on the other hand, he broke into her house! Not cool, little Gary.

4. U2, "Babyface" From the band's underrated Zooropa album. Bono sings of "coming home late at night, to turn you on." But it's not his wife, or a secret girlfriend. No, it's a woman on video, and judging by the way he tells us she's "tied up in lace," one can assume it's not a Disney video. The creepiest moment is when he tells us, "I've got slow motion on my side." I'm pretty sure he means he's glad he can drag out her screen presence exactly as long as he needs it for his purposes. That's kinda gross. Bono, are those tissues by your bedside sad tissues, or happy tissues?

3. Matthew Sweet, "Winona" From Girlfriend, the singer's 1991 breakthrough. This song takes Bono's home-video obsession to the next level, actually naming an actress and pursuing her via telephone. It's clearly no accident, the spelling he chose for the woman's name; it matches that of actress Winona Ryder, who was at the height of her Heathers popularity when the song was written. Sweet opens by admitting he called, but her line was busy; he heads into nosy territory by asking, "Were you talking to a friend?" But by the chorus, he's asking Winona to "be my little movie star" and admitting that "I don't really know you, but I'm alone in the world."

2. Garbage, "#1 Crush" From the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack. Shirley Manson tells you that she will lie for you, die for you, feel pain for you, beg and steal for you, do time for you...and she "will never be ignored." Those of us who've seen Fatal Attraction know what that means: She'll boil your bunny!

1. R.E.M., "Superman" You may know it from various commercials for cars and other consumer goods, but this song is unapologetically stalkerish. Mike Mills, taking over on vocals, tells the object of his affection:

I am Superman, and I know what's happening
I am Superman, and I can do anything
I know you don't love that guy you make it with, now do ya?
I know you don't love that guy, 'cause I can see right through ya.

And later:

If you go a million miles away, I'll track you down, yeah
Trust me when I say I know the pathway to your heart!

Well, Mike, I'm not Brainiac, but I sense a restraining order in your future.