Oh the Humanity!

I am sorry for doing this to those of you who just ate, are about to eat, or have ever eaten. But GOOD LORD! What happened to Carrot Top? Click here for more if you dare.

I am not really sure what is worse, the half naked Carrot Top or the fact that Sports Illustrated is trying to curse my Fuku and the Cubs. At least Fukudome admitted that he can't be jinxed because he had never even heard of Sports Illustrated before they chose to do this cover story. Ha! Take that you old, aging, bastion of yesteryear sports journalism and your God forsaken cover curse!

What would Archie Say?

And to think he kisses his mother with this mouth. I would take him more seriously if his voice didn't sound like a 14 year old going through puberty.

This Man is a Genius

For all you baseball lovers out there.

Randomness

Randomness that I found entertaining tonight as I fight the stomach flu. Thank god for Pepto Bismol!

This guy has a great life. He has been to every Major League baseball field in one year and followed it up with every NBA arena in one year. The best part? Free tickets for every arena except in Boston. That's why the Celtics suck.

Who doesn't like the crazy soap opera storyline coming from Mindy McCready? Roger Clemens has some more explaining to do!

Gotta take a few minutes to hand it to "The Popcorn Trick" (see link to the right – got to pimp the links!). They put together the TOP 25 Opening Credits of 1980's Action Shows. Wow, here I thought I wasted my free time.

Here is the mix tape of the new century.

We here at The Outfield are big fans of women, movies, and sports. So how about a list of the Top 10 Underappreciated Sports Movie Babes?

How about 30 Catchphrases in 60 Seconds?

And finally, we close with the Top 10 Most Vulgar Wall Street Ticker Symbols.

NFL Draft Wrap: Slick's Opinion

Well, it's finally over. Twenty-eight hours, two hundred and fifty-two picks, and countless beers later, we've now seen the entire draft. And, of course, I have thoughts.

The local college football players fared pretty well this year. Brian Brohm, of my beloved Cardinals (thank you very much, Joker) landed safely in Green Bay, where it looks like things might bode well for him in the long run: the team already has one of his former offensive linemen, Jason Spitz, on the roster, and added another (Breno Giacomini) late in the draft. The team did, however, also add LSU quarterback Matt Flynn in a late round, so there might be some QB drama come training camp time.

Brohm's in-state rival (seemingly since birth), Andre' Woodson of Kentucky, lucked into the cushy position of clipboard holder for Eli Manning, the face of the New York Giants franchise for the foreseeable future. He can always ask his UK (and Giants) predecessor Jared Lorenzen for tips on how Eli likes his Gatorade.

As for other local highlights: Louisville WR Harry Douglas landed in Atlanta (here's hoping the fact he was a Bobby Petrino recruit at Louisville doesn't get him daily ass-whoopings once he reports to the team); Louisville TE Gary Barnidge was drafted in the fifth round by the Carolina Panthers; Kentucky receivers Keenan Burton (product of my high school!) and Steve Johnson wound up at St. Louis and Buffalo, respectively; and Kentucky TE Jacob Tamme was drafted by the Indianapolis Colts, where Peyton Manning loves to share the ball amongst his targets.

And inexplicable early-exit Mario Urrutia of Louisville, who made the decision to go pro after what was, by all accounts, a disappointing season (too many dropped passes, idiot penalties, and general lollygaggery), was drafted among the final ten picks by the troubled Cincinnati Bengals. One piece of advice for surviving training camp, Mario: Kick someone's ass the first day...or become someone's bitch.

As for the draft class of my beloved Tennessee Titans, I'm kind of so-so on it. Their first pick was for a wickedly speedy back out of East Carolina, but they didn't address their gaping wide receiver need until the fifth round, when they took Lavelle Hawkins of California. I was kind of pulling for them to draft my fellow Manual Crimson, Keenan Burton, but I guess we'll see what happens with Hawkins.

A couple of other notes:

-This year's "Mr. Irrelevant"--the final pick of the entire draft--is David Vobora, a linebacker from the University of Idaho. Let's all congratulate David, who actually gets a week of goofy events in his honor, to be held in Newport Beach, CA, later this summer. What a bizarre tradition.

-The "Saving Private Ryan" award has to go to the Detroit Lions, for drafting safety Caleb Campbell of Army. The Army has developed a special exemption for its academy athletes who are drafted by major-league sports teams, such that Campbell will not have to serve overseas in his capacity as an Army officer. He will have duty as a recruiter here in the States, due to the unique public relations opportunity his new situation affords him (and the army)...which beats the heck out of baking in the Baghdad sun (and risking death by explosion). So congratulations to Campbell for dodging that particular bullet, and to the Lions for making a move that might bring them some good P.R. for a change.

Now on the clock...

Hello all you geeky sports fans out there, today is the day you get to sit around and do nothing (provided you have your "honey-do" list completed if you are married). Today is the greatest sports event not actually played by teams - the NFL draft. I will be hitting you up with my thoughts later tonight, so watch this spot for updates throughout the day.

Couple of changes to keep in mind. The draft will start at 3:00 PM EST this year instead of it's lunch time start in the past. Also, teams will have 10 minutes to pick in the first day rounds instead of 15 minutes. This should speed up things considerably and make for better television.

So sit back, grab a cold one, and prepare yourself for staring at Mel Kiper Jr's hair helmet for far too long. We are now on the clock.

Joker back with thoughts after the first two rounds:

Big winner - The Kansas City Chiefs. Glenn Dorsey was the best player in this draft and to get him at #5 is fantastic. Trading up to get Branden Albert to anchor the O line will make Larry Johnson and Brody Croyle happy. Lots more picks on day 2 - that should help a team with lots of needs.

Big Loser - Detroit Lions. Geez, will someone please run Matt Millen out of town? On second thought, keep him because, as a Bears fan, he makes beating the Lions pretty easy. Passing on Mendenhall and D help and then reaching for a questionable 1st round O-lineman. Sounds like Millen!

Bears - Got the left tackle we sorely needed in Vandy's Chris Williams and a potential 3 down back to push Benson in Tulane's Matt Forte. Solid if not flashy and trendy. Thank God we passed on Chad Henne. Now, we need to grab John David Booty or Early Doucet/Earl Bennett with the 7th pick of the 3rd round and our offense should be getting better.

Brian Brohm - Fitting that the best QB going into the season last year falls to the 2nd round - gotta love those NFL scouts. Green Bay surprised everyone by taking Brohm but they got a heck of a player. Too bad he goes from the hated Louisville Cardinals to the hated Packers. Still, he is in a great position as the GB mind trust seems to believe in Aaron Rodgers about as much as I do.

More later...

The Comic Book Guys have Spoken

You know I have to post this. It seems that the comic geeks of the world (or at least those of us who populate the Comicbook Resources website have come up with the Top 100 Greatest Runs in Comic History. The fine folks at CBR have a running feature called "Comics Should Be Good" and recently asked readers to vote on their favorite "runs" (bodies of consecutive work by a creative team for those of you who need a comic to human translation). Currently, the Top 100 down to 16 are posted with the Top 15 coming tomorrow.

For the comic lovers out there, this is a perfect time to read, review and debate. For the uninitiated, this is a perfect chance to review and find something worth checking out. This is the creme de la creme - the reasons we love comics. So click HERE TO READ and enjoy.

Lost discussion time!

Slick?

Yes, Joker?

What did you think about LOST?

I'll admit, I'm still coming down off tonight's episode, so I may be a little scattered here. But...wow. That was one crazy hour of television.
What have we learned? Let's review:

-Ben can control the smoke monster--somehow--though it doesn't seem to be an easy task. Not easy and apparently very dirty given his appearance. It almost seems like he went deep into the island to unleash it. It begs the question, if Ben can control it, why did he kill Mr. Eko back in the day?

-Ben is willing to bluff that he will sacrifice his daughter...but he has enough heart not to mean it, and to be driven to extremes when it happens. Sounds reasonable since his is a very cocky and arrogant man, who apparently no one should mess with. As if we didn't already know, we get that point reinforced tonight.

-The freighter crew never had any intention of rescuing the Losties. (Not a real surprise, there.) Nope, but what is a surprise is that the leader apparently lives if we are to believe the preview of next week's show. So, did the smoke monster not kill him or is this a time/space issue?

-Sayid was reunited with Nadia...and it was her death that brought him to Ben (which seems to have been Ben's plan all along). Very nicely done. Quick with the answers and they make sense. This is why this season has rocked.

-Future Ben is targeting Penny! Sweet, sweet Penny! This could get nucking futs.

-Michael Emerson should win the Best Supporting Actor Emmy this fall. (He should have won last year, and won the guest actor Emmy--for which he wasn't even nominated--the year before.) His portrayal of Ben is phenomenal. Hear, hear. He's already up with Darth Vader and George Bush as greatest villans of all time!

-- Last thought, when Ben and Widmore were talking, Ben said something to the effect that Widmore knew he could not kill him. That leads me to believe that they cannot kill each other because of the island. Similar to what we saw with Michael. If that is the case, then the "game" that Ben refers to has got to be for control of the island. And you have to love the way the lighting portrayed each man in that scene. Half in light, half in dark. Great symbolism!

What say you, Outfield Nation?

Go Cubs Go

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the milestone 10,000th win by the Cubs last night. You can read about it here. And they are 15-6 on the year. Do we dare to dream? Nah...

LOST Again

Just a friendly reminder from management that it is once again LOST time. Remember to tune in tonight at 10:00 EST/9:00 CST for the new episode and join us back here later tonight and tommorrow for our discussion.

Wocka Wocka

If your "name" is Trixie, Lacy, Trinity, Roxie, or Chrissie, you live in the Dallas/Ft Worth metro area, and you like to dance for a living, WATCH OUT!!! Pac Man is on the move. According to published reports, Adam "Pac Man" Jones - sometime football player, all time great thug - has been traded from Slick's Tennessee Titans to America's team, the Dallas Cowboys. Known for his titty bar spending accumen, Jones is ready to wreak havoc across the metro Dallas area. To all the parents out there, this is just another reason to WORK YOUR BUTT OFF TO KEEP YOUR DAUGHTERS OFF THE POLE.

Don't Cry, Brian...

Must be the money; that's what Neon Deion Sanders told us years ago. Looks like several current NFL stars listened. Word out of Cincy, Chicago, and Phoenix has three superstars demanding either trades or new contracts. My man Brian Urlacher now feels he is underpaid and the Bears say tough. Ocho-Cinco himself, Chad Johnson, has told the Bengals that he will never play for them again and wants out. The Bengals response? Tough. And Arizona Cardinals wideout Anquan Boldin (the fantasy stud that he is) has come out and demanded to get the hell off of the perennials awful Cards. Their answer? Tough.

What does that say about the NFL? Well, their superstars are just like superstars in any other sport or any other line of work in that they want to be paid commiserate to their skill level and success. Sounds fair. But where the NFL gets is right (versus MLB & the NBA), is that they have followed the private sectors lead and do not offer guaranteed contracts. Guarantees make you soft and complacent, traits not suitable for players in such a rough sport. Plus, in the NFL, you can't sit back and coast through injuries real or imagined nor can you play at a level not on par with your contract; you will get cut, much like Kentuckian and former fantasy stud Shaun Alexander.

Long story short – we should applaud the way the NFL teams are handling their players. Fiscal responsibility in big business? Who would have thunk it? Too bad Isaiah Thomas didn't follow the NFL's guidelines.

NPH

What would a day be without a little NPH? A tour de force weekly on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (Mondays, 8:30, CBS), our main man Neil Patrick Harris rock our socks off in the original HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE. We here at the blog (and in the Joker household) are preparing ourselves for more NPH goodness this summer in the H&K sequel. Hopefully this poster will wet your appetite.


BTW, even though he is super gay, all ladies think NPH is super hot. Or at least my wife tells me so. What say the rest of you ladies?

Who’s Got the Vibe?

It's the Tribe y'all!!! Check it, check it out.

Big news today that a big fav of the blog, A Tribe Called Quest, is reuniting and hitting the road on a summer tour (w/tour partners De La Soul, Mos Def, Rakim, and NAS). Check out the full article on the tour HERE.

Slick and I are in mourning, however, as the closest they come to KY is Chicago. Where is our Atlanta stop? Cleveland? How will we ever know if you can kick it? Still, this is exciting news so let's celebrate with a video.

We Are All on Drugs

Thanks to Pitchfork, we get a glimpse of a simply fantastic cover to the new Weezer album. Coming out in June, Weezer is keeping up the color theme by releasing "The Red Album", but it's the Village People ode that I'm digging. Catch the new single "Pork and Beans" on Ethel on XM or perhaps on the links to the right. It has been one of The Hype Machines' top songs of the last few days.

Once Again

As my wife is so quick to point out, I like the "Sad Bastard Music". And yes, she loves to quote HI FIDELITY so I give her a pass with the insult. Last week, I praised my new favorite, Bon Iver. This week, you get a You Tube clip. Give it a shot and see if you like it. There are several more songs and performances out there

Kerouac

Let's all sit back and remember when these boys played for us at WKU. Now lookie - the Muckrakers are rock stars! And watch for the new album, "Lights of Louisville" coming soon.

Top Five Time!

Okay, kids...you knew it was coming eventually. Time to bring back the Top Five tradition. You know the drill: we pose a question, give our own list, and (hopefully) get your replies, in this case in the comments section.

I'll admit, I'm getting a head-start on this particular topic, because the question sprung from a conversation I had this weekend, and I've already been thinking about the list. The question is:

Name five "stalker" songs, and you can't use The Police's "Every Breath You Take."

Here are mine:

5. Snow Patrol, "Spitting Games" From Final Straw, the band's third album and major-label debut. Singer Gary Lightbody inhabits the character of a lovestruck schoolboy to utter the opening lines:

I broke into your house last night
And left a note at your bedside
I'm far too shy to speak to you at school
You leave me numb and I'm not sure why

On the one hand, I'm willing to give the song a pass, as the character is clearly immature...but on the other hand, he broke into her house! Not cool, little Gary.

4. U2, "Babyface" From the band's underrated Zooropa album. Bono sings of "coming home late at night, to turn you on." But it's not his wife, or a secret girlfriend. No, it's a woman on video, and judging by the way he tells us she's "tied up in lace," one can assume it's not a Disney video. The creepiest moment is when he tells us, "I've got slow motion on my side." I'm pretty sure he means he's glad he can drag out her screen presence exactly as long as he needs it for his purposes. That's kinda gross. Bono, are those tissues by your bedside sad tissues, or happy tissues?

3. Matthew Sweet, "Winona" From Girlfriend, the singer's 1991 breakthrough. This song takes Bono's home-video obsession to the next level, actually naming an actress and pursuing her via telephone. It's clearly no accident, the spelling he chose for the woman's name; it matches that of actress Winona Ryder, who was at the height of her Heathers popularity when the song was written. Sweet opens by admitting he called, but her line was busy; he heads into nosy territory by asking, "Were you talking to a friend?" But by the chorus, he's asking Winona to "be my little movie star" and admitting that "I don't really know you, but I'm alone in the world."

2. Garbage, "#1 Crush" From the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack. Shirley Manson tells you that she will lie for you, die for you, feel pain for you, beg and steal for you, do time for you...and she "will never be ignored." Those of us who've seen Fatal Attraction know what that means: She'll boil your bunny!

1. R.E.M., "Superman" You may know it from various commercials for cars and other consumer goods, but this song is unapologetically stalkerish. Mike Mills, taking over on vocals, tells the object of his affection:

I am Superman, and I know what's happening
I am Superman, and I can do anything
I know you don't love that guy you make it with, now do ya?
I know you don't love that guy, 'cause I can see right through ya.

And later:

If you go a million miles away, I'll track you down, yeah
Trust me when I say I know the pathway to your heart!

Well, Mike, I'm not Brainiac, but I sense a restraining order in your future.

Leave Your Money on the Bed Side Table

One and done. No, we are not talking about Slick’s track history with women today. We are talking about Mrs. Kevin Love, Michael Beasley, Derrick Rose, and OJ Mayo – the crown princes of last year’s college basketball world and sure fire NBA lottery picks this summer. And finally some one in the mainstream media gets it right. One of my favorites, Gene Wojciechowski over at ESPN.com rightly points out what I have been arguing all along; by mandating that these kids go to college for 1 year, the NBA is simply whoring out the NCAA as a glorified developmental league and most schools are willingly serving as prostitutes in exchange for increased attendance and revenue, national television appearances, and “building a stronger brand”. Let’s just end this charade, gentlemen! Let the kids jump straight to the NBA so true college fans don’t have to bother learning these kid’s names.

But we know that won’t happen because the NCAA is about one thing and one thing only – the almighty dollar. Holla if you hear me!

Wow. I am saddened that I laughed.

I know that it isn't right and that it is truly offensive, but my first inclination when seeing the image to the left is to laugh. "All in good fun" and all of that. Sadly, I know (and you know) that I am an idiot. This a Kosuke Fukudome T-shirt that is the hottest-selling item at a souvenir stand that sells unlicensed Cubs-related merchandise across Addison Street from Wrigley Field in Chicago. The always reliable Gordon Wittenmyer has more here.

Wittenmyer sums it up the best when he says, "Regardless, it's not funny. The image feeds not only ugly, arrogant and ignorant Japanese stereotypes, but also the stereotype of the obnoxious, profane, drunken, booing, garbage-throwing Cubs fan. How much truth is there in either image? And how funny is either one?"

Although Fukudome is rightfully offended, he stays classy San Diego. Our favorite new Cub said it best: ''I knew I was coming to a different country, so I expected something like this,'' he said. ''Maybe not necessarily racial, but that anybody could take any context of my words and degrade me if they wanted to. But if I make a big deal out of it, it's not going to benefit me, so I'm not going to make a big deal of it.''

Lazy Sunday

Ah, a lazy Sunday in the Joker household. Several items crossed off the "Honey Do list and I thought I would drop a few points of interest before I settle down to watch the Cubbies versus the Bucs. Being the single guy that he is, Slick is probably just now waking up so let's hope these will tide you over until he can drop some knowledge.

You know of my fascination with ESPN's Colin Cowherd. Read an interview with him here, here, and finally some good gossip about Simmons vs. Cowherd here.

Look out for the Cubbies! A 13-1 win? That continues a strong offensive showing this week, even if the outbursts came against the Reds and Pirates.

Maybe the talent has finally caught up with the hype machine as Danica Patrick has finally won something. 1 for 50. Sounds like Graven's batting average.

In box office news, there is no accounting for taste. Seriously America? I bet you all are chomping at the bit for Saw 227.

And lastly, it is good to see Eddie Van Halen back on stage. E, Slick and I got to watch as Ed and the rest of the Van Halen blew the roof off of Conseco Field House last fall. Good times and that Wolfie ain't too bad on the bass as well. Poor Michael Anthony.

Time to Pimp the Links

Have you noticed the links on the right side of the screen? Aren't they just calling out to you (especially the advertising that just screams "CLICK ME because I can help support Slick and the Joker with but one click on advertising each time I visit.")? But I digress...

I was going to post about the movies I am most looking forward to this summer. But in doing my prep work, I came across a site that I absolutely fell in love with. Check our the Movie Poster Addict link that resides in our Pop Culture link section entitled "The Petri Dish (Growing Pop Culture Daily)". This site features tons of images from not only current movies but historical films as well. I enjoy the commentary on the effectiveness of each poster as that is something that I discuss with E and Slick everytime we see a well done or just plain awful poster campaign.

That said, here are a few of the better posters for movies coming out in the next year. Well, at least movies that I am excited about! (The last one is for you Graven!)

Wha? Huh?

Where is the ESPN ombudsman when you need them? I think they truly need to apologize for this one. Max Kellerman (ESPN's boxing guy and original host of "Around the Horn") was a white, wack early 90's poser! (Of course, this comes as no surprise to those of us who are familiar with this guy nowadays. Without further adieu, this is for you Steve...

Are they Hanging Tough?

While I am only interested for the expected train wreck that I expect the reunion to become, New Kids on the Block have supposedly had their first track leaked. At first listen, I am completely surprised as this actually sounds fresh, modern, and not like anything I was expecting. Is it good? Not really, but it is better than expected and better than it probably deserves to be. Give it a listen and tell us what you think.

-Joker

Sad news from E Street

I know Joker's not a Springsteen guy like I am, but it's a shame to hear that Danny Federici died. I've seen Bruce and the E Street Band four times since their 1999 reunion (including one show last month without Danny), and one of my fondest memories from the 2002 Lexington show was a moment during the encore when Nils Lofgren and Danny Federici were exchanging looks and laughs onstage, and it was clear that they were still having fun, after all these years, and even when playing to a surprisingly non-packed Rupp Arena.

So it's time to pour a drink, put on my vinyl copy of The River, and remember Mr. Dan Federici.

--Slick

The Bell Tolls Awesome

Gotta love self depricating humor. Check out this new favorite from Funny or Die.com. And yes, it's okay to love Kristen Bell, but just not as much as Slick. You don't want to venture into "restraining order" territory.

- Joker

Admittedly, this is impressive

I know this has been floating around for a few days now, but it's no less impressive despite that fact:



I'm no Kobe fan, but if this is real, he's the proverbial "bomb."

--Slick

Holy Cow Steve!

Check out this gem from what has to be the early 90's. For the uneducated, a bit from John Caponera's longtime Harry impression was the inspiration for the name of our blog. Enjoy!

-Joker

My life in beer

While going through some of my old junk for a craftsy home-decor project (finally making art of all my old concert ticket stubs), I ran across a relic from my storied junior year of college: The giant "Charlie's Paradise Bar & Country Club" cup from Spring Break '96, the one in which I deposited the cap of nearly every bottle of beer I drank my junior year. If it was feasible to keep the cap, I did--sticking a night's caps in the pocket of my jeans for later deposit in the Charlie's cup.

The cup still holds those caps from more than twelve years ago, and here's the count, for a good laugh:

-51 bottles of Killian's Red
-31 bottles of Molson Ice
-9 bottles of Bud Light
-6 bottles of Beck's Dark
-5 bottles of Rolling Rock
-5 bottles of something called "Jack Daniel's Slow Brewed 1866 Classic"
-4 bottles of Icehouse
-2 bottles of Pete's Wicked Winter Brew
-1 bottle of Miller Lite
-1 bottle of Grolsch
-1 bottle with no name and some sort of abstract image of a monk or something on it

Higher education...gotta love it!

-Slick

A Picture is worth $5.00 in Words

Have truer words ever been spoken?

- Joker

Spin, Spin. Spin the Black Circle

There are some things is life that were just bad ideas – New Coke, Crystal Pepsi, holding the Olympics in Beijing. Here’s an idea that is not only GREAT, but one you should get behind; this Saturday (April 19th) is National Record Store Day. Yeah, yeah, yeah – I hear you now. Most of these places are out of your way and not as convenient as the big box stores. Yeah, okay, most of the staff is wannabe hipsters or aging hippies. And granted you might just reek of patchouli when you leave the store. But dammit, independent record stores are just about the only safe haven of good music left in this country.

Have you tried to find a new release on Tuesdays recently? If you tried Target, Wal-Mart, Best Buy, or Circuit City then I hope you were looking for something in the rap genre, a crappy pop starlet, or perhaps an American Idol, because baby, you weren’t going to find any good rock and roll. Oh, you could get a copy of REM’s Accelerate or the new Counting Crows disc Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings. But if you tried to find the new Black Keys, the new Kooks, heck even the new Raconteurs – you were most likely SOL. Plus, if you did luck into a copy, the mind numbingly slow halfwits at the box stores probably had to dig through the boxes in the back to find the lone copy in the store that just happened to be marked at full list price of $14.99 - $17.99. Uhm, who needs it?

I guarantee that if you went to ear x-stacy or CD Central, they had not only what you were looking for, but they had multiple copies. While the prices might not beat the $9.99 offered for most of the major new releases at the major chains, the $11.99 you pay at the indy stores beat full list price at Best Buy – and you get to help keep a vital cog in the local music scene open and serving the community. (Just make sure to avoid the spoken word, jam band, and Acid jazz/techno sections of the store.)

Of course, most of you reading this probably get your music online nowadays (either legally or illegally), so this column may be a moot point. But if you are still reading my words, do yourself and your local music loving brethren a favor and hit your independent music store this weekend. You might just find something new that you like and you can help stave off the Wal-Mart takeover that much longer.

-Joker

The big announcement?

So, one of the centerpiece events of our summer is our first attempt to witness/survive the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival in Tennessee. Today, the festival sent out an e-mail announcing the cancellation of the Allman Brothers' appearance (a shame; I was looking forward to seeing them for the first time) due to Gregg Allman's health concerns. But the weird part was the tease for an upcoming "Big Announcement" this Thursday:

Allmans Cancel/Big Announcement

Of course, there's plenty of speculation (between Joker and me, and in the world at large) about what the announcement could be. It almost has to be the addition of a headliner-caliber artist to the lineup; nothing less would be worth the tease. They've been quietly adding mid-level artists for weeks. So who could it be?

Of course, the dream scenario is a one-off North American appearance by Led Zeppelin. Robert Plant is already booked for the festival, and John Paul Jones is a veteran of last year's show. Still, all Zeppelin talk thus far has made it seem like an impossibility this time of year. But I cross my fingers.

So who else could it be? Suggestions I've seen, most based on who has open dates and an interest in festivals, include Eric Clapton, Stone Temple Pilots, Prince, and Tom Petty. Of these, I'm most pulling for Prince (I already have Clapton and Petty tickets this summer). But here's crossing fingers that the gods of rock and roll smile upon us all, and give us that Zeppelin show.

-Slick

How much...

ESPN's Page 2 has a great poll up right now. What's your price when it comes to your favorite sports franchise's success? You know Slick and I are diehard Cubs fans, so this poll rings near and dear to our hearts and souls. What say you?

http://proxy.espn.go.com/espn/page2/polling?event_id=3444

- Joker

Monday Musings

Another Monday, this time with sick leave thrown in! Welcome back 30 degree temperatures and thanks for bringing along my old friends Upper Respiratory Infection and Acute Bronchitis! Next time, leave them in Hoboken.

How to pass the time while using the hard earned, too easily spent sick time (other than taking care of my 3 year old who likes when daddy is sick because he gets to play hooky from school)?

These things have helped me survive today:

Bon Iver – Man, oh man. Thanks to PASTE magazine, I have a new favorite singer songwriter to get me through my day. Wonderfully stripped down and moody, the high falsetto that is employed just crawls up your skin and into your soul – in a good way. He’s a modern day Hayden (who I recently found out still rocks).

Marvel Comics – yup, it’s lain out bare in the very first post. I am the comic geek of the bunch (there is always one, especially on the internet). Jason Aaron and Ron Garney’s current run on Wolverine is well paced, beautifully drawn and just what the doctor ordered. Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch’s current Fantastic Four run is a return to the grandiose larger than life FF of Lee/Kirby or at least John Byrne. And Joss Whedon’s Buffy Season 8 has a great take on Dracula that makes me wish I would have watched more of the show with my wife when it was on the WB/UPN/CW/NAMBLA. And let’s not forget the newest issue of the best crime series going – Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips’ Criminal.

Day Quill – Did I mention that I am sick? And how is it that my doctor cannot see me until 3:30 TOMORROW! Skanky urgent treatment center, here I come!

Buster Olney – The man when it comes to down to earth baseball reporting. While ol’ Pete “Red Sox” Gammons is an institution, Olney is the workhorse for the four letter network. Despite the fact that he is a Vandy grad, me likes Robert Stansbury Olney the Third.

And let’s not forget...

Ramone's House of Body Art (Didn’t I tell you I had a 3 year old?!?!?!?)

-Joker

This is a test of the emergency broadcast system...

This is our first and hopefully not last foray into the ether that is known as the blogosphere. Why? Why not is probably the better question. We are two college friends separated by 110 miles of crappy Kentucky interstate and over 10 years of lives headed in opposite directions. One is fat, married with a son, and has a full head of hair. The other is skinny, married to his loneliness with a slovenly man-child roommate, and has a "shaved" head of...yeah, he's bald. Drawn together by a love of sports, tunes, pop culture and an all encompassing love for mocking that which we loathe and don't understand, it's time to garner our insights, rants, grumplings, and assorted blahblahblah's into a one size fits most container.

So without further adieu, let the worthless ramblings (drunk or otherwise) begin...

-Joker and Slick